When in pain, it is good to name it:
“I feel angry.” ” I am hurt.”
Some pain is so sharp and acute you can’t help but name it. Other pain shows up in blame, shame, and guilt. We focus on another as the source of our pain: they are the jerk, the problem, and the issue.
But that pain wouldn’t be there without touching something in you. And if you are having a reaction, there is something in you that needs tending.
It may very well be you were wronged.
And the humanity in you needs tending. If so, take the time to tend. Get support. Not support in justification, or people telling you “you are so right” or “that person is a jerk”. But support in the tending of your heart.
Something hurts. How do you tend a baby when hurt?
As an adult, our hearts and hurts require wise discernment. We have a life time of patterns, justifications, and social conditioning to navigate around.
But in the immediate moment, what to do?
Just this: Touch it, then move back to neutral.
That hurts. The sky is blue.
I hurt. The leaves are dry.
My chest aches. The water is cold.
Step back from “He did this”. “She did this.” “They did this.”
Sometimes that is the best we can do. But that best is what we need we to get to the moment. For without the moment, we are not here. And when we are not here, the world despairs.
May you touch your beauty and your pain…and feel the stillness between. May that stillness radiate to all beings and govern your thoughts and actions in the world.